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How To Avoid Being Boring By ‘Submerging The I’

by admin on February 22, 2010

This man has read too many tech websites. (Image courtesy of Shreyans Bhansali.)

Let’s say you’re going to your friend Amanda’s house for dinner. Should be fun. “There will be a few other people there,” Amanda tells you.

Then you arrive and you’re stuck next to Brian, a management consultant and golf aficionado with a penchant for long, self-important stories. Nearly every sentence he utters starts with “I…”

Does it feel like Brian gives a fig about what you’re up to? Does he bore you to the point of drowning yourself in the soup?

What if he’d started by asking about you instead?

What if he’d simply used the word “you” more often and dropped the I-centricity?

The writer Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club and Choke, among others) has a term for this. He calls it “Submerging the I”.

Even when he’s telling a story in the first person, he uses “I” as little as possible. Palahniuk knows that self-absorbed people are only interesting to themselves.

Because what’s the subliminal message if you constantly use the word “I”?

You’re saying: “I’m not interested in you, I want to tell my story.”

Round here, they call it “The Big I Am.”

Extrapolate that to a business and website copy environment and what message have you got?

“We don’t care about helping you, we’re only interested in ourselves.”

A dangerous message to put out, wouldn’t you say?

So, try not to let your website sound like Boring Brian. Focus on the you, and submerge the I and We as much as possible.

(P.S. You can check how me-centric you are using Futurenow’s customer focus calculator.)

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The Difference Between Features and Benefits, Saw-Style

by admin on February 18, 2010

So, I was training a group of web copywriters the other day, and casually mentioned features versus benefits. Nothing earth-shattering there.

But, just as I was about to click to the next slide, I noticed that the expected nods and hums of recognition didn’t arrive. So I asked, “you do know the difference between features and benefits, right?”

Blank stares.

I realised that I often take it for granted that website writers know and understand what a benefit is. So here we go, features and benefits in a nutshell:

A feature is something the product does.
A benefit is how a feature improves the life of the customer.

So how about an example of features vs benefits?

Okay. I went to buy a saw at the weekend. Being something of a DIY illiterate, I was surprised to see a choice of about two-dozen saws.

I asked the bloke at the till what was my best option. His advice: “this one has tungsten tips, this one has a gel-embossed handle. This one here, the Sawmeister 3000, has a reinforced body.”

He may as well have been speaking in Esperanto.

What he could have said is:

  • This one cuts fastest, because of its tungsten tips – so you’ll spend less time sawing.
  • This one is the most comfortable to hold – so you won’t get blisters.
  • This one won’t break, no matter how much you use it, so it’ll last longer and save you money.

After all, I wasn’t really buying a saw – I was buying quick, neat, cut wood. Just like people who buy 37Signals software are really buying an easier working life, people who buy a hedge-trimmer are really buying tidier hedges, or people who buy a Rolex are really purchasing perceived status.

The key, of course, is accurately pinpointing the true benefit to the customer. Even if this might not be clear at first, drill down until you find it. You can apply this to nearly anything (including aspects of your own life). For example:

Your social Life:

Feature: There’s a party this weekend
Benefit: You might meet that elusive dream girl who puts up with your accordion playing (not a true story)

Your education:

Feature: You get a load of letters to put on your CV
Benefit: You won’t have to work in the Burger King at Victoria Railway Station

Your web design business:

Feature: You design and build accessible websites
Benefit for clients: More customers will be able to use your site = more sales for you

Sometimes people mistakenly think that bringing out benefits means treating people like idiots. I disagree. It’s simply a way to spark in the customer’s mind how using a product/service will help them out.

Now, get sparking…

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An Open Letter To Mr. $1.50 Article Writer

by admin on February 5, 2010

Typewriting Monkey

Image courtesy of Olivander

Dear Mr. $1.50 Article Writer,

How on earth do you do it?

It’s impressive – I have to hand it to you.

To have a head so crammed with knowledge that you need never spend time doing research. To have such a disciplined writing mind that you can structure and write an article, on any subject, in minutes.

And, those fingers.

Are the bones strengthened with metal, like the X-Man, Wolverine? How else could you type at such a rapid pace without injuring yourself?

That you must have a specially reinforced keyboard goes without saying.

Don’t listen to those fools who say it surely takes at least an hour or two to write anything even halfway decent.

Pah! If that was the case you’d be earning a mere pittance. Of course you’re writing ten, twenty – maybe even thirty of these pieces every hour. An article every two minutes – wow!

I’d murder grammar to be that fast.

And to the sensible folk who hire these $1.50 Article Writing Miracle Workers: It makes perfect business sense. Because surely if someone can write this fast, they must be good. Even if they’re not – it’s probably better to have 1000 sloppy articles on your site than five evergreen pieces that attract links and make you look smarter. Speed and quantity, every time.

Yes, Mr. $1.50 Article Writer – I salute your stamina.

Yours in envy,

A Quality SEO Article Writer



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